weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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