Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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