Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize