Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
