i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
