I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
