how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Success! We fucked roommates!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
