My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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