if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
