I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
