Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
