I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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