I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
