I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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