You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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