Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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