you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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