He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
