this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
