sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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