Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
