how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
