Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
