GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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