i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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