Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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