Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He did a backflip because drugs
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