who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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