my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
