You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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