"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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