Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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