is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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