you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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