Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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