I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
