I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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