YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
