I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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