Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
