I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
