what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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