dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
