I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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