I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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