There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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