Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
