Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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