stop calling my apartment porn island.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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