I want to stick my p in your. b.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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