What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
