He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
