Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
