I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
