State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
