It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
